“How long does it take?” and other important questions

We get lots of questions about voice work, particularly at the intersection of voice, gender, and safety. The stakes are high—it’s a dangerous time to be trans, especially in the US. As trans identity becomes more visible, being visibly trans also becomes more vulnerable. Along with that visibility comes a daunting amount of necessary skills just to keep yourself safe enough to live your life. There can be a wave of freedom and liberation in starting a transition journey; it’s ok if it feels like trying to move a mountain by yourself sometimes, as well.

Tucked into the question, “how long does it take” are a few other, more subtle questions:

When will I feel safe again? (or for the first time)

When will people stop trying to clock me?

When will I feel whole, like my full self?

How much do I need to budget for? (Time, energy, and finance are not infinite resources)

When will I start actually liking the way I sound when I talk?

These are all really important questions, but they don’t come up in a voice lesson because there’s a tacit, mutual understanding that these are questions with no answers. The journey of voice work includes multiple paths, intentions, and destinations, and none of them are as certain as we would like.

The questions I would like us to ponder together:

How long does it take to get more comfortable with not knowing? With releasing attempted control of other people’s thoughts and intentions?

How long does it take to feel sure enough in your own choices that you stay true to them, even when it is clear that someone else feels entitled to them? To you?

Big questions—but these are skills. Alongside the skills of voice like pitch, inflection, resonance, and articulation, you are also learning skills of self-trust, failure tolerance, schema, focus and intention, and internal compassion. And I know it might be hard to hear it, but you cannot learn about how to use your voice unless you also learn those things. You deserve to feel great in your voice. You deserve to feel great, period-end-of-sentence. And honestly you don’t even have to believe that you deserve that — I, we at TVL, believe in you enough for both of us!

So. To answer your question, “how long does it take?” I don’t know. But do try to give at least 6 months. ;)